2020 (or the year I turned 43)

Growing up 2020 was always a marker. it was a nice round number, it seemed very far away and I would turn 43…which for a teenager sounded ancient. I figured that we would be seeing amazing advances in our society and that by that time I would have it all figured out. Well here we are, and neither of my predictions turned out exactly as I thought ….but all and all, things are pretty good.

For all of its turbulence, 2020 has been a new and interesting for our family. We are very lucky that we have been able to work remotely and that our boys have reasonably adapted to distance learning and have a small pod of local friends that they have been able to engage with. We are also at an amazing time (5&9) to be spending every single waking moment with our kids. I look at parents with teenagers or toddlers, and count my blessings. I hope that those parents look at me and count their blessings.

It’s not all great. We miss a lot of things, youth sports and visiting out of town family are just two of the things that we are missing hard. It’s also hard to celebrate when so many around us are suffering, but I know that looking back, this will be a ….special….time for all of us. As my birthday approaches I have three things that I am focusing on.

First off, I want to get this blog posted. Writing is very therapeutic for me. Putting words on the page forces my monkey mind to slow down. It helps me to work through issues and to identify irrational thinking. At this stage in my life it is one key ways that I communicate with others. Gone are the long slow dinners or hanging out with friends. I tire of the sniping and short discussions on social media – I hope that this can help deepen the conversation.

Second – i need to deepen by mental and physical practices; both of which have been disrupted by the SIP. My mental practice is my meditation and spiritual work. I used to meditate every morning on my ferry ride to work, while I am happy to get back the 2+ hours I had been commuting each weekday, the regularity of my morning meditation is missed. I am also missing in person services at our spiritual center. I had been on a good routine of high-intensity workouts at the local YMCA every saturday.

During the pandemic, this has all changed. I have more time, but I seem busier than ever. Like a lot of people, I find myself sleeping longer during the pandemic. https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/news/coronavirus-lockdown-sleep-data-covid-19-tracked-a9550741.html I also find that my work schedule is busier than ever, with meetings and emails that are taking the place of in person meetings. I have been taking advantage of the amazing hiking in my local neighborhood, and i am trying to start a personal yoga practice. Finally, like many of us I find myself drinking (and eating) more under quarantine than before.

I am committing to daily meditation and workouts 4-5 days per week. Pushups and yoga will replace my high intensity gym workouts. At 43 there is no choice in whether you focus on your physical or mental health. The only choice is if you are going to try to manage it or if you are going to let it consume you. I choose the former.

Finally I am working on a personal inventory. I want to do a deep dive on where I am overall. Finances, health, happiness. One thing that I have noticed during the pandemic is that time simultaneously moves slower and faster. Days blend into weeks and while they seem long, we are almost in September.

I periodically like to take a snap shot of my status. This is important from time to time to make sure that you pick up the little changes. This is important for the things that you want keep an eye on. (for example gaining 5 pounds in a year is not a big deal. Gaining 35 pounds over seven years is a big deal.) This is also important to count the joys in your life. Our natural perspective is that we are always looking forward, always focused at the challenges ahead. This can be overwhelming and we have to look back on the past. Not only does this allow us to celebrate our successes, but also to learn from our failings, including the biggest lesson that we fail all of the time…..and we recover!

I will wrap it up for now. My birthday is 9/14 so we will see how far I get by then.